Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Parting Shot...

...afore I venture off into the mysterious Midwest...

So we're sitting in urgent care, waiting for Third Son and The Wife to emerge (it's been that kind of day), and I'm trying to pass the time with the Remaining Three by swapping lies. My first one got a good response: "I've never seen any of you children before in my life, and I don't know why you keep talking to me." My second was aimed right at First Son, whose desire for wealth is remarkable. "I'm actually the richest man in the world; I just act like I'm poor out of love for you children - so you don't get spoiled." First Son, without hesitation, made like he was holding a gun to his head and replied, "Tell me where your money is or I'll shoot myself." Very shrewd child, that.

Lord, Have Mercy

From the NOLA blog:


HELPPP from writes:

5851. BAPTIST HOSIPTAL EMERGENCY
by Jillybean82, 8/31/05 16:52 ET
Baptist hospital has been taken over with guns. it is horrible. I talked to my friend who is a nurse. she was screaming that is terrible. there are bodies just everywhere. people are stealing all there supplies.

i don't know how to get this information to the news station. This is first hand information.

there is 25ft of water in the hospital. Please please help.

- Jilljill0782@aol.com

Hello, I Must Be Going...

...I cannot stay/I came to say/I must be going...

That's right - just after traffic has started to pick up 'round the Godsbody homestead, Mr. Godsbody has to go and get fidgety, start talkin' bout squatters, and head off for parts unlinked...

Starting tomorrow, I'll be spending a week in darkest Wisconsin, roaming the Hundred Acre Wood, er, Johnsonville compound as it plays host to my 10-year college reunion. I'll also be doing a lil' research for Book Two.

IN THE MEANTIME...I'm putting my brother Mark in charge of the blog. Expect an uptick in intelligence, and a certain German density to the sentences.

Ten years...Judas. Dom over at Bettnet has just announced that he's gonna be the new editor of Catholic World Report, and it looks like he graduated the same time as I did. Oh, I get all goose-pimply just thinking about the humiliations that await me in Wisconsin...

Actual conversatioon with former classmate:

"I read your book."
"You did? Thanks a lot!"
(Crickets.)

Yessir, gonna be a hoot! Keep those martinis coming, and tell the kids not to put the fireworks in their mouths once they're lit...

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Rough Night

Half an hour of late-night arguing with the eight year old First Son about suffering, one that drove him to the point of saying, "If God hadn't created, there wouldn't be evil!" I told him to pray for those who were suffering, to focus on love and not on "not liking God." I'm glad he didn't see the accounts of looters trying to break into a Children's Hospital in New Orleans.

Devastation

First Son, upon witnessing photos of New Orleans.
"How many people have died?"
"Never mind, son. What matters is that many, many people have had their lives devastated."
"Why is God doing this?"
"I don't know."
The wife: "Sometimes people get so wrapped up in stuff that they forget about the things that really matter, like love. Maybe God wants to help people remember love. God loves the poor; he sends special graces to them."
"It seems like too harsh a punishment."
"It's not a punishment, son."
"It's the end of the world!"
"No, son. It's not. Go say a prayer for them."

Not the best handling. He caught me off guard; I was still floored by the wreck.

A Reader Writes!

"I'm in a bit of dry spell as far as reading goes. I'm thinking about taking up Walker Percy again. I've read the Moviegoer (liked it, but found it to be a bit obscure) and once started the Last Gentleman. When I started LG, I was a bit burned out on the post-modern "what is wrong with man" genre, and set it aside. Fast forward a two or three years, and I never went back to it.

Everyone seems to have an opinion as to where one should start with Percy. Given your literary-street cred, I'm asking you - LG, or Love in the Runis? Any other suggestions? "

Dear Reader,
I've said it before - flattery will get you everywhere. "Literary street-cred," indeed. If you're burned out on "what's wrong with man?" you're going to have trouble with rather a bit of Percy - it was his stock in trade, the question he spent his life answering. (I really enjoyed the approach he took in Lost in the Cosmos - though it's not a novel.) This was perhaps most evident in Last Gentleman and The Second Coming - the latter of which can be slow going, despite its not inconsiderable charms (Allison).

For the very finest in zany laff riots, go with Love in the Ruins. Yes, the racial stuff is a bit dated, but the book has some pure, pure comedy - "Father Kev Kevin sitting at the vaginal console, reading his Commonweal" - oh, my, yes. A wonderful story. Gets my vote. Some think it his finest work.

Lancelot is a dark, dark book - a detective story of sorts - still asking "what's wrong with man" but venturing into more violent territory. Probably not the place to start.

The Thanatos Syndrome - the one you can find in most used bookstores - was a favorite of literary biographer Paul Elie. It's another mystery/thriller of sorts, but much lighter in tone and more straightforward in the telling. It's the sequel to Love in the Ruins - of sorts. Read Love then this, then get back to us with a report.

While we're at it...

...on the subject of Waugh, Sis-in-Law has a post over at True Motherhood which talks about what broke Sebastian...

Diversity

Amy's up earlier than I am - dratted time zones - and she's first mentioning that Godspy has an interview with David Scott, author of The Catholic Passion: Rediscovering the Power and Beauty of the Faith.

She excerpted one quote; I'll excerpt another:

***

In addition to John Paul II, which writers have influenced you the most over the years?

In high school and college I read tons of fiction and poetry. I don't do much looking back, but if I did I think I'd find that Dostoevsky and Melville, who were my favorites, first stirred the religious impulse in me. The Confidence Man and The Idiot were huge for me at one time. When I was coming back to the church, of course, it was John Paul, especially the first two social encyclicals, and the trilogy on the Trinity. Ratzinger's two letters on liberation theology were important. I read Neuhaus' Naked Public Square when it first came out. That was powerful. It changed my orientation to the culture and opened my eyes to a whole dimension of the faith that I'd never thought about before.

Dorothy Day was probably my biggest influence. I spent an entire winter in a library every night reading and photocopying everything she ever wrote in The Catholic Worker. A lot of that went into a book I did a few years back. She showed me how Catholicism could be a total way of life. Because she was such an incredible reader and was always writing about what she was reading, she was my gateway into this whole world of Catholic culture-novels, social theorists, artists, poets, philosophers. I wanted to read everything she read. And I'm still trying. In recent years, Daniélou, De Lubac, and Ratzinger helped lead me deeper into the church fathers and the treasures of the liturgy. Mauriac's novels and prose remain important. At the moment, I'm on an Evelyn Waugh kick.

***

What the poor devil doesn't know is that what he's calling "an Evelyn Waugh kick" is really, most likely, the first throes of an Evelyn Waugh addiction. But leave that aside for the moment. I think it augers well for Scott that he can cite Dorothy Day and Richard Neuhaus as influences without even bothering to note the differences in their political bents.

Monday, August 29, 2005

The Stein is Fantastic...

...the messenger bag is cool, the boxers are curious, and the classic thong is just weird. Oh, the post-irony of it all! Just buy the t-shirt.

If I Had A LitBlog...

...deedle deedle deedle deedle deelde deedle deedle dum...

...this might be a funnier joke...or it might find an audience that found it funnier...or it might elicit the coveted groan that really baaad jokes coax forth...

But I'm thinking of a t-shirt that combines pop and literary culture...one that reads:

I Ain't No Houellebecq Girl

Gad...and it's only Monday...

[Some salty language in that "literary" link...]

[Update: apparently, this joke has been made before - but only in England. So I think it still counts.]

(Via Maud.)

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Overheard at Widow's Haven...

The Wife: [outrageous statement redacted]
Mr. Godsbody: That's it. I'm gonna blog that.
The Wife: You can't do that! I will not be held hostage to that blog! (Or words to that effect.)

In the Blogosphere, no one can hear you obfuscate, exaggerate, and generally proclaim your essential rightness in the face of apparently reasonable opposition.

CCH

(Spoilers ahead...)

Laura

Sometimes a girl
Needs just a little bit more
Than brains and bon mots

And by the by, Dear Something Old, Something New, I'm right with you - DeWitt wins in a catfight with Lydecker. Lydecker was too compromised - you could feel his control slipping as he got in deeper, and that's death to the sophisticate who stands above the fray and passes judgment. But was Hunsecker really a critic? I thought he was more of a gossipmonger.

From Lindsayism...

...the blog of Manhattanite Lindsay Robertson:

"My beloved sister-who-I-watched-be-born is turning 12 next week, and I really want to make a little zine-type-thing for her about what being 12 is like. If anyone reading this has a good, encouraging and very short story about your life when you were 12, please email me! She's a young 12 - writes stories about princesses and catches tadpoles at the creek (as opposed to the average 12 year old girl, getting her navel pierced or whatever). She also writes intentionally hilarious poetry, wins science fairs with her physics projects, and does not watch TV or know who Britney Spears is. Basically she's the coolest little fundy home-schooled kid who has ever existed."

See, the sad thing is, so many children will never be able to look back from the vantage point of their 24th birthday and say, "If there is a God in heaven, He has my everlasting thanks for the happy fact that fully half of my young years on this earth were spent without television or the knowledge of Britney Spears." Twelve years before the things that don't matter start to matter absolutely.

Intentionallly hilarious poetry... the girl may go far.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Rock, Catholic

The Hold Steady needs to be forgiven for its hipster trappings - is that a Pabst Blue Ribbon belt buckle I spy? Thank God at least one of them is holding a wine bottle. I am suggesting they receive this forgiveness because of their song Your Little Hoodrat Friend. Do check it out. I'm woefully late to this particular bandwagon, but that just strengthens my anti-hipster cred. Yeah, that's it. Oh, and here's the band's website.

Okay.

First one to start up a blog called Sacral Fantastica wins a no-prize. And a free copy of the novel I'm gonna write with my brother after this next book is done...

(Via Amy.)

From the NYTBR

"Women's everted lips are a good example of neoteny, the extension of childlike characteristics into adulthood, an evolutionary process Morris returns to frequently throughout the book. Women have more neotenous physical traits than men do. For example, pound for pound the average adult woman has about twice as much body fat, an infantile trait, as the average man. Women also have higher, more childlike voices and smoother, more finely boned baby faces, traits that Morris maintains evolved to elicit protective responses in their male mates."

Which does absolutely nothing to explain Homer Simpson's sung request regarding the perfect nanny: "Might I add/No fat chicks." Nor does it explain the promises in the pornspam that arrives in my inbox that if I click on the link, I will get to see "young teens" violated in all sorts of exciting ways.

Protective, my foot.

It ain't all evolution, baby.

Saturday Morning...

...and I can't for the life of me remember what I told myself I didn't need to get out of bed and jot down on a notepad Friday night...for the book...would've been great...argh...

INTERVIEWER: Mr. Godsbody, there have been those who have said that your book lacks (fill in the blank).
MR. GODSBODY: Yes, and they have a point. I did address that, and rather well, I thought, one Friday night back in August of '05. But by Saturday morning, it was gone. Pity. It really was marvelous.
INTERVIEWER: Yes, well... goodbye.

In the meantime, here's another Controlled Cinematic Haiku (CCH):

Indiscreet

A whiff of scandal
Is a poor substitute for
Dramatic tension

Friday, August 26, 2005

Literary Mama...

...is the name of a new online magazine that I found via this middle-aged woman, who I found via Terry, who had recently blessed it with inclusion in his blogroll. It made me think of sister-in-law again, who name-checked my blog in this excellent post on her own.

Linking and drinking...

Work Today

...as opposed to the rest of the week, when I was supposed to be writing a book... Actually, this week was better than most on that front. The first draft is flowing, and it feels so gooooood. Of course, there will be a reckoning. Eventually, I'm going to have to go over what I've written. Gonna wrap myself in barbed wire to distract from the searing pain in my eyeballs and aesthetic sensibility. But today, it's all about wine.

I'll leave you with this: I like Kipper as much as the next father desperate to occupy his toddler while he tries to fold laundry, but when I start up the DVD and I get the option to either "Play video once" or "Play video continuously," I do feel a little creeped out.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Why I am Enjoying The Optimist's Daughter

..by Eudora Welty, part II:

"But Laurel had kept the pigeons under eye in their pigeon house and had already seen a pair of them sticking their beaks down each other's throats, gagging each other, eating out of each other's craws, swallowing down all over again what had been swalloed before; they were taking turns. The first time, she hoped they might never do it again, but they did it again next day while the other pigeons copied them. They convinced her that they could not escape each other and could not themselves be escaped from."

Absolutely, searingly, perfect indictment.

Three Little Words...

...that can go a long way toward creating a lifelong habit of acquisition...

"Collect them all!"

Of course, later in life, those are replaced with:

"New and improved!"

And if you get in deep, you can reach:

"Only the best."

Sigh.

Why I am Enjoying The Optimist's Daughter

...by Eudora Welty, part 1:

1. Carrying on the Percy "place" legacy - early on, Laruel looks about the New Orleans hospital where her father is languishing - they're both from Mississippi, as is the doctor who performed the operation - and thinks, "This is a nowhere place."

2. There's this one note at the end of F. Scott Fitzgerald's unfinished novel, The Last Tycoon (at least, I think it's there): ACTION IS CHARACTER. Maybe so, but in The Optimist's Daughter, manners are character. Love it.

3. Wonderful economy without any stripped-down, mannered feeling about it. To a parenthetical addict such as myself, this is the best sort of medicine.

More to come...

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

It's A Girl...

Ultrasound today...Right now, we're looking at Therese Susan Lickona (with the Tuh-REZ pronunciation) - after The Little Flower and the wife's mom. First Daughter will be so pleased...

Excuse me, Ms. Sittenfeld...

...but aren't you a writer? What's more, aren't you a novelist? If yes, then how to explain the following bit from your recent piece in The Atlantic?

"On one especially surreal day I found myself on the fourteenth floor of the Random House offices in midtown Manhattan, drinking champagne. It was three-thirty in the afternoon."

Exactly what is the surreal part, again? If you put me on the fourteenth floor of the Random House offices to discuss my new bestseller at eight in the morning, I'd be drinking Champagne like it was New Year's Eve. Heck, we toasted Benedict's election with bubbly, and that was at what, 10 a.m. Pacific? It's called celebrating. And you're a writer, for heaven's sake. Drinking at odd hours is what writers do, no?

(Via Large Vibrating Egg.)

Controlled Cinematic Haiku...

...to steal a term from Bret Easton Ellis via the Old Hag...spoilers ahead, I suppose...

[UPDATED]

Topsy Turvy

Japanese show tunes
Save the Savoy but don't mask
Personal failure

Gallipoli:

Even bad music
Cannot hasten Gibson's pace
Enough to save lives

Garden State:

Justified numbness
Cannot withstand Portman's grin
So very mannered

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Adventures in Acquisition

So I head down to Hollywood Video to pick up Topsy Turvy, and they're blowing out their VHS inventory. Gotta love it when a technology becomes obsolete. For $25, I picked up All About Eve, Barton Fink, Indiscreet, Howard's End, Enchanted April, Gosford Park, and The Three Amigos (the kids' cousins love that last one). Happy days. Stuff may not make you happy, but art comes closer.

Fabulous.

Other Catholic blogs have comments threads that rage about Church teaching, politics, liturgy, you name it. What gets the readers at Godsbody arguing? Burgers. That's nothing against my readers - it probably just says a lot about the content here. I love you guys.

Pugnacious Paglia

Camille Paglia cannot help being fascinating - she's from upstate New York! And she was raised Catholic! Today, she talks with the remarkable literary interviewer Robert Birnbaum over at The Morning News. It's great stuff. Two snippets:

"The reason why the real threat is the far right is that they have the Bible. And the Bible is a masterpiece. The Bible is one of the greatest works produced in the world. The people who all they have is the Bible actually are set up for life. Not only do they have a spiritual vision given to them but artistic fulfillment. They don’t even recognize just the pleasure of dealing with this epic poetry and drama. Everything is in the Bible. What does the left have? The left has a lot of attitude."

And:

CP: I’m on a crusade—it’s to say to the poets and the artists, “Stop talking to each other. Stop talking to coteries. I despise coteries in any form. You are speaking to a coterie, OK. Stop the snide references to the rest of the world who didn’t vote with you in the last election.” This is big. Because we have all separated again. After 9/11, everyone was united. We are separated again thanks to what has happened in politics. People in the art world are full of sanctimonious sense of superiority to most of America. But they must address America, learn to address America. Yes, have your friends, have the people who support what you are doing in the art world, but you have to recover a sense of the general audience and the same thing I am saying to the far right, get over the sneering at art, the stereotyping—

RB: They started it.

CP: Wait a minute. The far right wouldn’t have any opinions about art if it weren’t for those big incidents in the late ‘80s to the ‘90s when some stupid work was committing sacrilege

RB: You’re referring to Andres Serrano?

CP: Yeah, some 10th-rate thing. It’s always Catholic iconography, I might point out. I am atheist, by the way. It’s never Jewish. It’s never Muslim. So I am saying this is a scandal. The art world has actually prided itself on getting a rise out of the people on the far right. Thinking, “We’re avant-garde.” The avante-garde is dead. It has been dead since Andy Warhol appropriated Campbell’s Soup labels and Liz Taylor and Marilyn Monroe into his art. The avante-garde is dead. Thirty years later, 40 years later, people will think they are avante-garde every time some nudnik has a thing about Madonna with elephant dung, “Oh yeah, we are getting a rise out of the Catholic League.”

Do give the whole thing a read. We've got the Bible, people, and the sensibility. Who knows, we may even have the talent and drive and freedom from ideology and fiction. What we need may be an audience.

(Via Terry.)

Monday, August 22, 2005

In-n-Out

Which, as everybody knows (especially everybody who lives in SoCal or has seen The Big Lebowski), makes the finest fast-food burger around (if this blog had more readers, that claim would almost certainly stir debate. But as it is...), ALSO makes a practice of putting Bible verse references on the underside of their drink cups, and, we discovered tonight, on their french fry packages. Usually, it's something out of the Gospels or Paul. But tonight, I was surprised and intrigued upon finding Revelations 3:20. Revelations? Oooh, In-n-Out stepping into the culture wars, laying the smack down on the unrighteous and daring the world to do something about it ("Go ahead - try to live without our superior product. Just try it.").

But alas. When I pulled out my olde-tyme family Bible, I found a perfectly innocuous and appropriate verse: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man listens to my voice and opens the door to me, I will come in to him and will sup with him, and he with me."

Well and good. God bless 'em. But just four verses previous, there was this gem: "But because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I am about to vomit thee out of my mouth." Now THAT would have been fantastic.

Movie Chat

Ned: I want adventure! I want romance!
Bill: Ned, there is no such thing as adventure. There is no such thing as romance. There's only trouble and desire.

(From Simple Men.)

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Sunday Dinner, Widow's Haven

[UPDATED]

(...Widow's Haven being our little manse's proper title, now that the Hotel Matt Lickona looks to be closing down for the season. The widows in question - and we have plenty of them here - are of the black variety, owing to their mourning for their lost husbands. The harsher onlookers can't help but remind these fat black ladies that they brought about their own sorrow, but the widows go on spinning as if they cannot hear, setting gummy traps for the unwary amid the children's backyard toys...)

This is one of those rarer dinners in which I play a role, and one of those even rarer dinners in which something goes awry...

Peel the potatoes, cube the potatoes. Melt the butter in the six-quart flat-bottomed skillet, but add oil to help prevent burning. In go the potatoes over high heat (to ensure that outer crispness and inner yielding softness) - the heat means that you have to flip frequently for the first twenty minutes or so, keep things moving. (Thank God the doc hasn't said anything about my diet in his quest to get my cholesterol figgered out. Lord knows I drink enough red wine - when's that French Paradox gonna kick in and get me off the lipitor?)

Run to Henry's grocery store for wine. The wine budget has long since been spent (and drunk) for August, but this is Sunday dinner, and there's steak in the offing. No budget can withstand such pressing circumstances. Henry's has Pappio California Cabernet, on sale at two for nine dollars. I never would have bought this - California, Cabernet, mass-production as evidenced by the basic California appellation, goofy label featuring monkeys plus a political promise to support some naturalist cause or other (not that I have anything against naturalist causes, but I'm suspicious when wine uses such a cause as a selling point) - but Deirdre brought a couple of bottles home a while back to audition them for her parents' visit, and they passed muster. Very pleasant; yummy even.

Home again, start the grill. Yes, I use propane. Yes, I'm a philistine. The wife makes me a Suburban (fresh OJ, vodka, pure cranberry, lime juice, sugar, shake and strain into a martini glass) while I flip potatoes. She goes to the garden to cut Swiss chard. The potatoes nearly done - gorgeously golden brown and crisp, quietly hissing as they give up the last of their excess moisture - I cut the heat to simmer (God bless this cooktop of ours) and head out to the grill.

On goes the flank steak, which has been marinating in olive oil, soy sauce, scallions, and what-all since this morning. It's my mother's marinade. We found a good one in Saveur once that used honey, garlic and suchlike, but this one has quietly crept back into Deirdre's repetoire. One of the few recipes she's inherited from my mom - but every one she's taken on is a keeper. Tomato sauce, Swedish meatballs, et al. Finish the Suburban while the meat grills and Third Son runs around me, waving a sword and getting into the dirt alongside the house. Meanwhile, the wife is inside, sauteeing the Swiss chard with plenty of garlic. She is careful not to scorch the garlic. And she boils up the gold-and-white corn, bought this afternoon, which will turn out to be a highlight for both kids and grownups.

First Son sets the table - by himself, without complaining. He's on best behavior; there's a favor he's hoping we'll grant after dinner, and he's had a few missteps already.

Meat finished - bring the meat in, slice the meat with the fantabulous Hamilton-Beech electric knife. This thing belonged to my grandmother, and it still drops through the steak like it's custard. Slice up the slices into kid-size chunks. Dish up the plates and...dinner.

As we sit down, the wife surprises me with a request for a chocolate cake. It's been a while since I made one just because she needed one that night - but the pregnancy has begun to weigh on her. Ten hours of sleep last night, and she's still been tired all day. And she wasn't even her usual dynamo, "a little work before I get to work" self. So yes, chocolate cake after dinner. But quelle horreur - the Swiss chard is bitter! Last year, we ate off the chard plants even after they began to resemble landscaping, and the leaves were still salty-delicate and lovely. Perhaps we fried them with nitrogen? This was the first year we cover-cropped in the winter - winter rye and hairy vetch - and while it has done wonders for the tomatoes - heirloom and otherwise - it seems to have been too much for the carrots and chard. Guess we'll need another raised bed if we're still here next summer, one with less nitrogeneous soil. We've got room. Now all we need is money.

Dinner is long and lovely. We made far more potatoes than necessary, which is just how I like it. I made the potatoes growing up. Mom made boiled potatoes nearly every night of the week - unless we were having pasta - and there was generally one left over each night. On Sunday morning, while Dad did eggs, Mom toasted bagels, and Mark set the table and made the juice, I'd have six or seven boiled potatoes to slice and fry. Pre-boiling made frying a dream - I could get them down to little nuggets of crunchy, concentrated flavor. But this way - starting from raw - is nice, too. I'm not matching the genius of fried potatoes a la Chez Panisse, but I'm in the same category of pleasures (at least, my wife is happy with them). The last of the potatoes disappears with the last of the wine. (The wife slows way down when pregnant, so I get most of it. Hoo!)

After Dinner, the wife needs to lie down. While Third Son makes her his jumping target, she corrals Second Son and First Daughter to rub her feet. I run out to Henry's again for butter.

Home to make the cake. Start at 8:10. Preheat oven to 350. Butter nine-inch springform pan. Start water on double boiler. Weigh chocolate - twelve ounces. Thank God for Trader Joe's - their house-brand bittersweet chocolate is Belgian and wonderful and inexpensive. Chop chocolate and into double boiler, along with three-quarters of a cup of sugar and two-thirds of a cup of butter, also chopped. While it starts melting, I separate five large eggs, measure out a third of a cup of flour, and fit the mixer with the copper mixing bowl insert (thanks, Mom). Fish out a couple pieces of shell. I'm rushing and buzzing, but there's no excuse for sloppy eggwork. For shame.

The kids are going nuts. They've already had dessert, and will get their cake tomorrow. The wife starts the bedtime machinery.

The hot stuff all melted and stirred together, I take it off the heat to cool. Do a little cleanup - the kitchen is a post-dinner disaster, and I'm fighting for counterspace. Then whisk in the yolks, one at a time. Then the flour. Then start the egg whites beating - medium speed, not too fast or it won't incorporate enough oxygen as it stiffens. Chat with the wife, clean up - overbeat slightly. Drat. But not too awful. Whisk in one-quarter of the whites. Then fold in the rest. Scrape into cake pan and bake, forty minutes. (I got it in the oven by 8:34). Serve warm with whipped cream. Usually, I whip it up at home and add a little confectioner's sugar in the process, but we're low on cream tonight, and First Son got the wife to buy some canned stuff when he went shopping with her this week. So we're slumming.

The recipe is from Patricia Wells' Bistro Cooking. A wonderful cookbook.

Happy days. Good night!

Sunday Morning Chat...

...with First Son, age eight...

"Dad, what's my sex glands?"

Not going there.

"What do you mean, son?"

"My sex...glands."

"I don't know if there is a sex gland. Your sex is just whether you're a male or a female. Your sex is male. My sex is male. Mom's sex is female. Another word for it is gender. What is your gender? Male."

"I like sex better."

Of course you do. "Why is that?"

"It just sounds cooler. And it's easier to spell."

Good morning!

Friday, August 19, 2005

Blog Check VI

Okay, this is downright depressing. It's even worse than walking into a bookstore and being overwhelmed by the sheer number of books therein. It's worse because these brilliant, beautiful bloggers aren't getting paid. They don't have book contracts. They're just pounding out fabulous copy for all to see, free of charge. It's almost enough to make a guy who writes for his day job weep. Not for fear of being replaced - not yet - but just out of admiration.

So here's Gas Guy. Especially check this post. Golly.

(Via Plato's Stepchild.)

Blog Check V

Heart Speaks to Heart. A newlywed on family (with the tacit admission the creation of a family very often involves having sex) and other things.

Blog Check IV

Plato's Stepchild. Is everyone in the blogosphere smarter/funnier/better read (especially blog-read) than me? Please don't answer that. Jeeves and the Monsignor should absolutely be a regular feature.

Excuse me, Mr. Godsbody...

...but your penvy is showing. (Apologies to the Old Hag for the slight misuse of her most wonderful word - I prefer to think of it as a broadening of the definition, a general sense that still allows for the particular, precise meaning.)

Moorish Girl is going to Bread Loaf. I am not. But I know someone who did! And that counts for...nothing. It's not the debauchery I pine for - though staying up all night drinking with Elder Writers I admired does have its appeal. It's the whole "community of writers" thing that has me curious. I never did the MFA. I didn't even do the English major. Something like Bread Loaf would be just a taste - probably all that I would need. Probably more than would be good for me.

Back to work.

(Via Maud.)

Bloodbath

Amy linked to this story about how fetal tissue can help heal severe burns. It included this bit:

The fetal tissue promotes growth of the patient's own skin cells rather than becoming incorporated into the recipient's skin as a true "graft." Further, it appears that a piece of fetal skin smaller than a postage stamp could be used to produce enough cells to treat hundreds of patients.

"The results were sort of unexpected. . . . These constructs seem to work as a biological Band-Aid, promoting spontaneous healing of the patient," said Patrick Hohlfeld of University Hospital of Lausanne, who was one of the researchers.

Reading that, I couldn't help but think of this movie. Sure, the trailer makes it look all lesbian softcore, and it probably won't enter the cinematic canon, but isn't it interesting that the popular culture should produce, at this particular cultural moment, a film about a woman who kills others and bathes in their blood in the pursuit of eternal life?

Thursday, August 18, 2005

This Should Be Amy's...

...since she's been doing the posting on Intelligent Design, but I'll post it in case she doesn't. It's too good to miss:

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

Brilliant. The Onion returns to form. Check this gem:

"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

Hoo!

Blog Check III

Clayton Emmer's blog should be checked for the name alone: The Weight of Glory. C.S. Lewis wrote an essay by that name, and it served as the title for a slim collection which is much loved here at the Hotel Matt Lickona.

But beyond the title, there's good stuff. And bless his heart, the man's trying to become a writer in LA. From Hoosiers: "That kind of commitment deserves and demands your respect."

Nothing Doing

Work today. Go check the WYD coverage. Very interesting about Cardinal George joining in the Tridentine Mass for Juventutem.

Summer's almost over. Drink rose. Chateau Grand Cassagne makes a good one for about seven bucks. Domaine Ott is now officially ridiculously expensive - it's also my favorite. Only one bottle this summer, tho.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Jimmy Eat World?

More like, Jimmy Eat My Fading Youth!

From Mark Vanderhoff's All Music Guide review of Jimmy Eat World's new album, "Bleed American":

"A Praise Chorus" uses the most basic of rock emotions for lyrical inspiration, "I wanna fall in love tonight," while lifting lyrics from Tommy James' "Crimson and Clover," They Might Be Giants' "Don't Let's Start," and Mötley Crüe's "Kick Start My Heart," among others. When used in a song about the comfort and trappings of nostalgia, this borrowing comes off more like a well-placed tribute than stealing.

THEY MIGHT BE BLEEPING GIANTS? A NOSTALGIA ACT? HOW DARE YOU?! Oh, getting dizzy. The rage really takes it out of me these days. Gotta sit down. Maybe take a lil' catnappppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

(Via mp3.com.)

Mind, meet Gutter. Now get out.

File under "Really dirty-sounding plays on popular phrases that aren't actually dirty" (and you just know that it comes out of a book review):

"The tongue sometimes skirts the cheek."

From Gary Shteyngart's Esquire review of Bret Easton Ellis's novel Lunar Park, via Maud.

Blog Check II

Perry Lorenzo. A Catholic concerned with beauty - rather like our pope. Said pope, writing on beauty, is currently being featured on the blog. Plus, he posts art (I'll be dipped if I can find the "add photo" button that Blogger tells me is on my edit bar). Plus, he works for the Seattle Opera.

Blog Check

Confessions of a Wayward Catholic. Check her before she disappears into the Cistercians...

Dept. of Tiny Violins

(As ever, apologies to the estimable T-Muffle for ripping off his brilliant post titles.)

So the nominees for the Quills Literacy Awards are out. Every Tom, Dick, and Jane who managed to garner a starred review in PW, a B&N Discover Great New Writers pick, a BookSense pick, a Borders Original Voices pick, or a stint on any of those people's bestseller lists got a nomination - which includes yours truly, thanks to a starred PW review. (You know what they say about self praise? They're right. But onward...)

From this gigundous list, somebody somehow selected five finalists in a bunch of categories. And here's where my bleat comes in (cue violins). I admit I had a snowball's chance in hell of even being nominated - but whose idea was it to take me out of Religion/Spirituality (where I was reviewed in PW) and stick me in Biography/Memoir?

The Bio/Memoir nominees:

Chronicles: Volume One
Bob Dylan
The Glass Castle: A Memoir
Jeannette Walls
His Excellency: George Washington
Joseph J. Ellis
Magical Thinking: True Stories
Augusten Burroughs
Will in the World: How Shakespeare Became Shakespeare
Stephen Greenblatt

The Religion/Spirituality nominees:

God's Politics: Why the Right Gets It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get It
Jim Wallis
Leaving the Saints: How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith
Martha Nibley Beck
Peace Is the Way: Bringing War and Violence to an End
Deepak Chopra
Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith: Further Thoughts on Faith
Anne Lamott
Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential
Joel Osteen

As I said, I know I'm nobody from nowhere, and I'm not knocking any of the nominees, but I would've liked my odds better in group two. And you can't tell me that Beck's book was any less a memoir than mine. Now I'm gonna have to drink twice as much to drown my self-pity. Oh, well - down the hatch!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Holy Girl

Lindsay's had her troubles of late, poor dear. But as this picture shows, she's back on the straight and narrow. You might think wearing a rosary like a necklace a bit cheeky, but when you pray your beads as often as Lindsay does, it's good to have a set within easy reach. That dress doesn't have any pockets, and it's so easy to lose things in your purse when it's full of... other stuff. And check the hand signal - why, it's the famous "Three persons in God/two natures in Christ" gesture!

Mmmm...celebrities. God help me.

Devil's Haircut

Tom Cruise I could take. Travolta, fine. Katie Holmes - poor thing. But Beck? I have GOT to stop reading entertainment news. It's just too depressing.

So here's The Shambler himself, waxing theological:

"Scientology brings a certain happiness and fullness to things. It has reinforced certain things that were really constructive and good. If you actually look at what's been done through Scientology and what's come out of it, I think it blows away the criticism."

Well, he's got me there. I haven't actually looked at what's come out of Scientology. Anybody want to help here?

(Via Oh No They Didn't.)

True Motherhood

...is the name of my sister-in-law's new blog. Do wander over and peruse.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Chaos

...is the title of a new film, a remake of Wes Craven's Last House on the Left, which was itself a remake of Bergman's The Virgin Spring, a film I loved. The shot of Max Von Sydow straining to rip the sapling from the ground was one of the most memorable I have ever seen onscreen.
I rather doubt I'll be seeing this version, and I'm certainly not recommending it to anybody else. But it was amazing to read the reviews and see the effect it had on veteran film critics.

Oh, My, Yes.

The Catholic artist, in attempting to create sacred art, cannot simply slavishly imitate what has come before, however beautiful it may be. But neither should he ignore what has come before - the work succeeds best, says me, when it grows out of the tradition - an organic development and all that. This, of course, is easy to talk about. It's harder to do. I'd say Daniel Mitsui has done it.

In the words of Lord Vader: "Impressive. Most impressive."

(Via Amy.)

Senses of Humor

First Son has long been honing his skills as a cartoonist. Mostly, he does superheroes - and most of them are his own invention. But he's also been dabbling in humor, thus warming the cockles of his fathers' heart. The other day, the wife discovered a single-panel item which illustrated the improvements in his sense of a joke, the way he's willing to let things be oblique and sidelong (for an eight-year-old, at least):

A thin man is facing a very fat man. The thin man is holding a wood saw and saying, "You are in need of medical assistance." The fat man is replying, "I don't think so."

Good stuff.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Local Boy Makes Good, Heads to New York

...the city, not the state. And no, I'm not the local boy in question.

That would be Abe Opincar, who parlayed a series of short pieces he wrote on various foods for the San Diego Reader into Fried Butter, a memoir published by Soho Press back in 2003. The book made into a roundup review in the NYT, and I imagine it did okay. I certainly enjoyed it. Abe is a fine writer; he'd already been at the Reader ten years by the time I arrived. It was the very best sort of food writing - the food leading the way to the memories, the persons, the circumstances, but also standing firm in its own right, made known and not simply praised or made use of.

The book must have gotten him noticed. Somebody gave me their copy of Food & Wine. Paging through, I found his byline. Then he popped up in Gourmet, writing about a fantabulous cooking school.

And now - now the New York Times. Found it totally by chance, browsing on the last day of my free two-week subscription. I think the best way to tamp down any oozing envy would be to extend my congratulations. So that's what I'll do.

(I'm not sure if he really headed to NYC, by the by - at least, I don't think he's there full-time. Googling for those links turned up a bit in the SD CityBEAT about Abe lobbying to get a wretched bar closed in the Normal Heights neighborhood of San Diego.)

Friday, August 12, 2005

Technical difficulties...

...were resolved only just now, and now we actually have to get to work. Back Monday.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Other voices, other rooms...

...over at Korrektiv, Mr. Potter has written a post on in-house pitching that I thoroughly enjoyed. It reminded me of an account of stoop-ball I read in a novel somehwere - Salinger, maybe? Good stuff.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Gosh.

George Weigel, author of several noteworthy books, has written some very kind things about my own book (and by extension, me) in his latest column, including the term "writes elegantly" and this concluding paragraph:

"Having survived the silly season, Matthew Lickona and Mark Judge have built integral, exciting Catholic lives despite the collapse of intact Catholic culture in the United States. Growing up in the intensely Catholic culture of Bavaria, a more famous Catholic apologist, Joseph Ratzinger, discovered that the Catholic Church is a wonderful thing, a treasure-house of insights and experiences to be savored and explored, reflected upon and argued over. Amidst the confusions of post-modern America, Lickona and Judge have discovered what Benedict XVI intuited as a boy: that the Church is everyday life and soaring speculation, liturgy and art and music, all at the same time. Learning the connections is a lifelong project, full of adventure and beauty."

I am humbled and grateful.

Mark Judge is also known as Mark Gavreau Judge - that's the name on my copy of If It Ain't Got That Swing, given to me a while back by dear Joseph the poet. It's a fun read, and I took his point about swing dancing's "grown up culture" - "unfiltered fun" interwoven with an ethos of civility between the sexes and a submission to something (formalized dance steps) that ultimately proves elevating. (Judge mentions the famous swing-dance scene from Swingers; he might have made points by noting that it is the more mature Mike who can romance a girl by swing-dancing with her; the womanizer Trent never gets onto the floor. Sure hope I'm remembering that right.) Now Judge has gone and written God and Man at Georgetown Prep: How I Became a Catholic Despite 20 Years of Catholic Schooling. These are interesting times.

What I'm Dreaming About Today

Here.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Haven't they heard?

A penis is more theatrical!

Oh, how the sordid have fallen. When I was a lad attending Thomas Aquinas College and journeying regularly to LAX for flights home, my journey always took me past this sign. But back then, instead of the clinical explanation of what the customer could expect, there was the far more enigmatic/redundant/hilarious teaser:

Nude Nudes.

See, that's mysterious. That's sexy. Most folks would look at a nude and say, "How much more nude could it be? The answer is none. None more nude." But at the Century, you could find NUDE nudes - what unheard-of levels of exposure and excitement must await!

Alas, the romance is dead.

"Conservatively anti-Catholic...

...as opposed to destructively so."

That's the opinion of movie producer John Calley regarding The Da Vinci Code, according to an article in last Sunday's NYT. (Amy Welborn gets a mention - and a quote!) Mr. Calley goes on to produce another couple of gems regarding the book that makes the Catholic Church out to be founded on lies and run by mass-murdering conspirators. (Remember - conservatively, not destructively!) To wit:

"In our society, most societies, we grow up with our religion given to us by our parents. We're never truly oriented into the history of it, the subtlety of it. The amazing thing about the book is it's provocative: Is it all true? Isn't it true?" Mmmm, subtle questions, these.

"As a history book, it's extraordinary." Well, no one can quibble with that. Extra-ordinary it is.

"As an exploration of the evolution of a particular religion, it's extraordinary." Right again.

It's a generally funny article - close control of the script, a totally closed set, and mandatory confidentiality agreements are explained by Sony's marketing head thusly: "There isn't a hidden agenda, there isn't any secrecy, it's just because it's so well known. They've got a job to do to make the movie. It was easier for everybody to just go make the movie." Got it? We mandated all this secrecy because there's no secret! We added all this extraneous business because we wanted to streamline the business of making the movie! Black is white! Who's the conspirator here?

Oh, and in case you didn't notice that "36-million copies in print" bit in paragraph two, it's helpfully repeated in paragraph thirteen. Say it with me now - 36 million Dan Brown fans can't be wrong. Of course, the Bible has sold more copies, but that's the brilliance of the conspiracy.

What makes me curious is how the the albino assassin monks of Opus Dei managed to let DVC and Holy Blood, Holy Grail get into print in the first place. Centuries of coverups, millions of murders, and Brown and Baigent slip under the radar and bring it all down, just like that?

But my most favoritist part of the article is the mention of Sony's bringing in one Jonathan Bock, "a marketing expert hired for his knowledge of Christian sensibilities." I think I've found my calling. Lickona Consulting is now open for business.

Hey, now.

So there I am, happily perusing Mammon City’s Paper of Record, chuckling and poking fun from my West Coast vantage point, when one of the Grey Lady’s chief enforcers, Paul Krugman, up and takes a shot at me – me! In San Diego! Since when does New York notice San Diego? Apparently, since America’s Finest City became emblematic of the insane bubble in housing prices. And there’s Krugman, talking about how my nest will soon cease to be my nest egg, my golden ticket to the east. Krugman thinks people will pay superhigh prices for homes only if they believe that prices will continue to rise. Once they stop believing, they simply refuse to pay, and boom – prices fall. (There’s a joke in there about the power of just believing in a thing to actually make it happen, but I’m too shaken to find it.) So once again, the wheels are turning…whither Godsbody?

Monday, August 08, 2005

Hollywood Whoredom

...that's what I've been driven to in my maniacal fear that, in taking a week off to attend to family, I've squandered all six of my regular readers. A new blog is born, what, every six seconds? What chance does Godsbody have amid all that newness - Godsbody, which brings you yesterday's news today? So, I'll cast dignity to the wind and start riffing on celebrities...

The New York Observer is more than happy to send me my copies of their salmon-pink publication, two, maybe three weeks late, sometimes two weeks at a time. I live in La Mesa - who cares when I read this stuff? It's not like I matter. As a result, I can't link to the article that dared to compare Vince Vaughn-Owen Wilson to Paul Newman-Robert Redford. When Newman and Redford made Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, they were giants acting goofy. When Vaughn and Wilson made Wedding Crashers, they were goofs acting goofy. There's no comparison. And let's not even start on the Handsome Factor. I know this, and I'm only 32, and I'm pretty darn sure I'm straight, showtunes or no showtunes.

Sheesh.

Heavy Meme

Dear Mr. T at Thumos has gone and tagged me with a meme. Of course, he didn't tell me he was tagging me, but rather left it up to my own technorati-loving vanity to search and discover my tagging. The sly fox - I am shamed again. It's all about the shame here at Godsbody these days. Anyway, here's the meme:

Name your three biggest non-reference books (excluding the Bible and text books).
Name your three biggest reference books.
Tag three others.
By "biggest," we're not looking for number of words. We're looking for weight. Heft. Something you'd drop on invaders while defending a castle.

Three biggest non-reference:
The Complete Cartoons of the New Yorker - no contest.
Bosch by Wilhelm Fraenger
The Riverside Shakespeare

Three biggest reference:
The Oxford Companion to Wine
The Oxford Companion to Food
Saint Peter and the Vatican: The Legacy of the Popes

Tagged:
Amy, Rocco, Terry

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Hey, Look At Me!

Oh, but this New York Times subscription is fun...

My editor at the San Diego Reader loves poetry, and this may be part of the reason why she not infrequently hires poets to write stories for the Reader. Thomas Lux, W.S. DiPiero, and many others have graced our weekly pages. August Kleinzahler wrote CD reviews for a couple of years, mostly jazz and classical. I enjoyed them immensely. I enjoyed his takedown in of Garrison Keillor in Poetry, which assailed Mr. Keillor's efforts on behalf of the form, somewhat less, even though I understood his point. I just don't see the evil in what Keillor does. Sure, he's a preserver - A Prairie Home Companion is a successful attempt to keep radio entertainment alive in spite of everything. The Writer's Almanac is literary history. I don't think it's his responsibility to shed light on more modern or less mainstream poets - the canon is neglected enough.

But I was naturally interested to see Kleinzahler profiled in the Times - hey, I've appeared in the same paper as this guy! And I was so so delighted to read Timothy Williams', shall we say, ambitious ending to the piece:

At Hiram's Mr. Kleinzahler, wearing a baseball cap and a weathered blue rain slicker, blended easily among the locals. Every time a stranger walked in, the place seemed to curl around itself like a rattlesnake.

The restaurant has been in business since 1932 and is the same spot where his father took his mother on dates.

That afternoon, a woman at a nearby table scolded a man: "What did you think would happen? You were missing for four days."

Mr. Kleinzahler, the unofficial poet laureate of Fort Lee, seemed not to hear. He held up his hot dog and surveyed it. "This," he said, "is a beautiful thing."

"The place seemed to curl around itself like a rattlesnake." History and continuity. Overheard snatches of weighty, dramatic dialogue. And the exaltation of the lowbrow in that disconnected last image - the glorification of a Hot Dog. Just like Kleinzahler! (When was the last time you surveyed a hot dog?)

I know the temptation to audition for a literarily significant interview subject. I tried hard to do my very best work when I profiled Garrison Keillor for the Reader's Events Page (he was coming through town with the Hopeful Gospel Quartet). I'm a big fan of his books. I tried again when I profiled William Murray, a crime writer who for many years wrote The New Yorker's "Letter from Rome." But if I was ever as bald as this, mea culpa. Shame on me.

Bookmark, Connections Edition

From Eudora Welty's One Writer's Beginnings:

"A time could be seized, close to bedtime, when it was possible to slip down the fire escape and, before the doors were all locked against my getting back, walk to an iron fountain on the campus and around it, with poetry running through my head. I'd bought the first book for my shelf from the college bookstore, In April Once, by William Alexander Percy, our chief Mississippi poet. Its first poem was one written from New York City, entitled "Home."

I have a need of silence and of stars
Too much is said too loudly. I am dazed.
The silken sound of whirled infinity
Is lost in voices shouting to be heard..."

William Alexander Percy was, of course, Walker Percy's Uncle Will, the gentleman bachelor who took in young Walker (after his father's suicide and his mother's death) and gave him a home and a proper introduction to the life of letters and leisure.

More Theatrical Than What, Exactly?

...or, Put a Sock on It.

Got myself a free two-week subscription to the New York Times going on right now. The fun about the paper, as opposed to the website, is that it's easier to just keep wandering from section to section. Sister-in-law picked up the theater pages today and read from a piece about the increasing frequency of full-frontal male nudity onstage. It contained this gem:

Mr. Nicola, by contrast, argues that there is no such thing as gratuitous nudity. "Maybe a naked male is threatening, maybe it's fear, or homophobia," he said. "I think an artist who chooses to use nudity is trying to communicate something. And I think a penis is more theatrical."

I may be going out on a - ahem - limb here, but I'd wager that most people outside of an explicitly sexual situation don't find a naked man particularly threatening. I think he's more likely to be found just a touch ridiculous. But it's that last line that's so fabulously fabulous.

"It's showtime, little buddy! Let's go out there and give 'em the ol' razzle-dazzle! Yes, yes, the rubes lined up to see Nicole Kidman naked onstage because she's beautiful and famous. But...but...I sense a showtune coming on..."

But you, little chum, are the realest of deals
Bald head and all, you've got Broadway appeal.

Though you lack a face
You've got charm and grace
You've got heart
Heck, you're Art!

If someone cries "Cheap!"
When I drop my robe
I'll reply, "Listen, creep!
You're a rank homophobe!"

We've got something to say
Me and my little friend
There's a message this play
Is trying to send."

So while all you women
May get more applause
When you doff, before swimmin',
Your garments of gauze

Just remember we menfolk
Have concerns that are textual
It's clear that a penis
Is much more...theatrical.

(And this is how I return to blogging? Oh, the shame of it. The stinging shame.)

Monday, August 01, 2005

So Very Sorry

Don't know how much I'll be posting this week, either. It's high season here at the Hotel Matt Lickona - seventeen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It's family, and I'm thrilled, but I'm also busy, and don't know how much I'll be blogging (not that it's ever a torrent around here). Yesterday we visited the Mission San Luis Rey, once the largest and the richest of the California Missions. Most memorable: the presence of the place, the fact that someone came and made this huge, significant something in the middle of so little.
Thanks for your patience.