Sunday, July 30, 2006

Poetry Corner, Farm Edition

Well, some rather brilliant wiseacres have been opining about the deeper themes buried in the goat poem. I thought it might be fun to let them have at a couple more.

I'm fond
Of the pond.
The fishes sleep
Where the water is deep
The marshy mallow
Grows where it's shallow.
The little creek chatters
Like it's all that matters
But suddenly hushes
When it reaches the rushes
At the edge of the pond.

More in a bit...

Saturday, July 29, 2006

A Little Miracle

Lately Matt's been posting, here and there, directly and indirectly, about Red Rose Farm. Tonight was the first major family gathering at the place since wife Lisa and I took possession and gave the place its new name --a little "grown-up party" (thanks to two expert sitters) with me and Lisa, Matt and D., Uncle Grammy--I mean Uncle Terry--and Aunt Cheryl and hubby Chad. At dinner's end Mom and Dad sat back to back and, in a version of The Newlywed Game, delighted all of us with just how well each knew the other's likes, dislikes, gifts, weaknesses, foibles. At night's end, more than one party expressed a sort of delighted surprise at how easy, enjoyable, memorable the evening was. Not all of us share the Faith, there were old injuries to be recalled, even new causes for bitterness awaiting their cue--in short, plenty of dysfunction waiting in the wings. Yes, there was good wine, and of course there was no real occasion for reviewing our family's history. But what won the day was our desire to be family--together with something about the place, about which Lisa (or I) may blog before long and for which I am grateful to God, since only He can be responsible for such mysteries. I report this for what it's worth. These little miracles must be noted when they occur. They seem too few and far between not to.

UPDATE: Lisa's farm blog is here.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

First Son, Poet

We wrote this one together...

Don't forget the goats
With their scrawny throats
Don't leave them behind
For you to find
Unwatered, unfed,
Probably half-dead
Because you forgot the goats

Monday, July 24, 2006

Chesterton v. Sacramone

Tomorrow, I head East, to the gentleman's farm recently occupied by my brother, his wife, and their six children. They have acquired goats. I believe chickens are next. Sister-in-Law plans to grow flowers and sell them. Vegetable gardens are in order. Sixteen gorgeous acres, on the outskirts of a very, very small town. An old (but wonderfully built) farmhouse and two barns. A spring-fed pond. Flatland and a hill. Fantastic trees.

Blogging will be (much) lighter for the next couple of weeks, but this seems like an appropriate time to muster some response to this post by Mr. Anthony Sacramone on the First Things blog. And so...(Sacramone's post, with my comments in parantheses):

Among several books I intend someday to write, one stands out: The Great Indoors: Why Going Outside Is Vastly Overrrated.

(Very funny opening. Kudos to Mr. Sacramone.)

Now is probably the time to pitch it—contrarian cant at its finest—given all the hugga-mugga over Crunchy Cons and the various websites supported by sundry disciples of Wendell Berry, who believe consumerism, free markets, and technological obsolescence are destroying our souls, families, and communities.

(Does anyone argue that consumerism is good for our souls, families, and communities? That a life spent in the pursuit of acquisition is beneficial for souls, families, and communities? If so, what are the arguments?)

This concern is an old one. And the solution—high-tail it for the Ozarks—is also old. I believe Aristophanes was the first to give it dramatic form (while side-swiping poor old Socrates at the same time): Abandon the cities, abandon false patriotism, abandon the quack sciences and gimcrack philosophies that threaten old religion; abandon the battlefields, politics, and sausage salesmen.

(I get a whiff of ageism here: because the concern is old, it is not worthwhile. Perhaps not even worth considering.)

This was old comedy at war with everything new, improved, and by implication, synthetic. And Christians are again becoming suckers for this type of plea.

(But how do you really feel, Mr. Sacramone?)

All right, it’s not the apogee of spirituality to log on and buy the latest iteration of an iPod or an iMac or an eyesore of a Hummer. And yes, it’s probably wise to limit your daily consumption of pesticides to roughly half your bodyweight. I’ll grant you that kids are probably spending ’way too much time wide-eyed in front of the flat panel ogling yet another edition of Grand Theft Auto or the director’s cut of Girls Gone Wild 13—Logical Positivists Stripped Bare. It also couldn’t hurt to be able to distinguish between one type of tree and another type of tree, if just to make a more detailed report for the police when you drive into one while talking on your cell.

But surely the Scriptures teach that the New Jerusalem will be a city—not a town, a village, or a set of mud huts.

(Well put. Perhaps it is also worth noting, as long as we're going to Scripture, just how many analogies Jesus draws between the Kingdom of Heaven and farming, how many agricultural images are employed. Mustard seeds, vineyards, seeds scattered on various types of ground... For the record, I'm not quite a Wendell Berry disciple. I live on the edge of a big city, and I like many, many things about the place where I live. And I'm happy to admit that I do love our gardens.)

And, meanwhile, the City of Man is not Hicksville. It’s the Big Apple, where a “piebald Parliament, an Anarchasis Cloots congress of all kinds of that multiform pilgrim species, man” (to quote Melville) congregates, to buy and sell, to breed and forego breeding, to invent a new mouse trap and spit in the street. The city is where natural law, lawlessness, and the Sword of the Spirit do battle on their Broadways; where multiple cultures jostle for breathing room in the same cathedrals; and where cultural barbarities do us all the favor of advertising the Fall without our having to read about all those “begats” once again.

(Um, the fall gets advertised wherever two or three are gathered. Faulkner didn't need to set his stories in Mammon City.)

The city is where the first Christians did polemical battle with old pagans, and where the many heard that Christ died for not a few.

(Even my brother's new home, a tiny town, has three different churches within a few blocks of one another - and the town is only a few blocks. You'll find religious differences wherever two or three are gathered as well.)

As for greed, envy, lust, and all those other black arts for which the city is a synonym, you can’t tell me Farmer Jones doesn’t practice them in spades, simply on smaller luxuries, more primitive needs, and stockier women.

(Well, maybe I can't and maybe I can. I can suggest that a lack of anonymity will prevent some men from committing some sins that they might have committed if they were in a big city where nobody knew them nor cared what they were doing. I can suggest that a sense of mutual responsibility for the civic good is easier to maintain in a small community, where one's actions have more noticeable reverberations. This condition has its dangers, of course, but it is not without its virtues. And it seems to me hard to deny that the city affords more opportunity for certain sorts of sins than a small town could ever hope to do. This may be what Sacramone is getting at with "more primitive needs.")

So instead of keeping up with the latest E: True Hollywood Story, he’s only keeping up a new pair of bib overalls, because he won’t be outclassed by that wise-acre who runs the general store. And tell me what all that fresh air and sunshine gets you: death by radiation poisoning. The city, on the other freckled hand, offers pollution, tall buildings, and plenty of indoors—manifold opportunities to elude that bullying cancer-causer without having to slather on an SPF 67 that stinks faintly of driftwood and dead sea life. And how many of those countrified ex-urbans bootleg Palm Pilots, Blackberries, and wirelessly networked laptops like so many bottles of Prohibition-era gin—if for no other reason than to keep their blogs live and comment-moderating in order to warn the rest of us how the modern age is killing us softly.

(See, this would actually be an interesting discussion - the extent to which a person may partake of the goods of a technological society while at the same time bemoaning the ill effects of said technology on society. But the interesting part is undermined by the silliness about sunscreen and bib overalls.)

The country, I’ll concede, may be where you find community, if by that you mean your next-door neighbor walking uninvited through your canted screen door to borrow a few shotgun shells to dust back yet another coyote. But it is also where you are apt to find the same old prejudices, superstitions, and gross habits masquerading as traditions.

(No, by "community," I mean people who actually know one another and talk to one another, simply because they live together in some real way, instead of simply living just across the hall. Is there any isolation like the isolation of one lonely soul in the midst of the urban throng?)

Not that the big city is bereft of such things, but at least you’re confronted with competing and contradictory prejudices, superstitions, and habits. In short, it’s hard to stay a city person for long and not be made aware that there’s someone else out there—probably right down the hall in a nicer apartment—who thinks you’re an idiot.

(And here's where I really disagree with Sacramone - me and Chesterton both. From his book Heretics: "It is not fashionable to say much nowadays of the advantages of the small community. We are told that we must go in for large empires and large ideas. There is one advantage, however, in the small state, the city, or the village, which only the willfully blind can overlook. The man who lives in a small community lives in a much larger world. He knows much more of the fierce varieties and uncompromising divergences of men. The reason is obvious. In a large community, we can choose our companions. In a small community, our companions are chosen for us. Thus in all extensive and highly civilized societies, groups come into existence founded upon what is called sympathy, and shut out the real world more sharply than the gates of a monastery. There is nothing really narrow about the clan; the thing which is really narrow is the clique. The man of the clan live together because they all wear the same tartan or are all descended from the same sacred cow; but in their souls, by the divine luck of things, there will always be more colors than in any tartan. But the men of the clique live together because they have the same kind of soul, and their narrowness is a narrowness of spiritual coherence and contentment, like that which exists in hell….If we were tomorrow morning snowed up in the street in which we live, we should step suddenly into a much larger and much wilder world than we have ever known.")

And if that’s not spiritual—to be humbled by people richer and more powerful, smarter and more beautiful, than you—then I don’t know what is.

(Well, I suppose being humbled by those with more money, power, and beauty is spiritual in that one's pride is bruised. But first, there are those with more money, power, and beauty in any community, no matter how big or how small, so that's not quite an argument for the city. And second, that kind of humbling doesn't strike me as having a great deal of spiritual worth, in the sense of progressing on the road to holiness. If those things matter to you - if money, power, and beauty are what you want, then it's likely that you're going to be jealous and resentful. Hard to see the virtue there.)

Humility, not to mention a nagging, gnawing sense of want for all those things you’re never going to get, is the springboard of true conversion.

(Interesting. It seems to me the nagging, gnawing sense of want for all those things you're never going to get is the springboard to a live of worldly striving. And being humbled - especially via someone else's show of money, power, or beauty - is not the same as gaining humility.)

So draw the blinds, praise the Lord, and pass the universal remote.

(Well, they do have satellite dishes in the country as well. And people who stay inside all day and watch TV.)

Andre the Giant has a Posse...

...but Dappled Things has a forum. Someone is actually saying something about the thing I wrote for their last issue, but that's not why I'm noting it. I'm noting it because I really would like to see them succeed. It's got to start somewhere.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Jukebox

Heard this one today on the way home...

We wanna be, lapsed Catholic, got the contraception, haven’t got the knack yet.
We’ve tried it a variety of ways, I’ve not slept in about 4 days.
- Art Brut, "Good Weekend"

See You in the Funny Papers

Now I'm not saying that Peter Jackson took his inspiration for certain parts of King Kong from Liberty Meadows, but this is clearly a rerun from way, way back. You can tell by the way Leslie the Frog's eyes are drawn.

And yes, I do think that Comics.com should allow you to design your own Sunday Funnies pages, which they will then email to you in pdf format or some such, every Sunday, without charge. But nobody asked me.

Add this to the interminable list of things I didn't know...

...James Carville is a Catholic. However, as he noted during a panel discussion at Boston College in March, he's not too fond of certain teachings:

“The Church’s position on condoms and AIDS is just silly, it’s ridiculous,” he continued. “The position on birth control in marriage is ridiculous. The Church says that masturbation is a sin. All for that raise your hands.”

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Today in Porn, Monastic Edition

A great big tip of Godsbody's straw hat to the Korrektiv, who dug up this little gem about a bunch of guys who signed on for a British reality-TV show set in a Benedictine Monastery.

"Although participants were not required to vote each other out, they faced the challenge of living together in a community and following a disciplined regime of work and prayer. By the end, the atheist, Tony Burke, 29, became a believer and gave up his job producing trailers for a sex chat line after having what he described as a 'religious experience.'"

First Son, Theologian

I said something about the necessity of work at dinner last night.

First Son: We only have to work because of original sin. That's why a time machine would be the best invention. That way, you could go back to just a few hours before Adam and Eve sinned and stop them from doing it.

Me: Yeah, but every human born after that would still have that gift of freedom, the ability to choose whether to sin or not. Odds are, somewhere down the line, one of them would decide to sin.

First Son: Yeah, but then only that person's descendents would have the punishment.

Me: ...

Ancient Someone: "Oh, those poor Smiths. Their great-great-great-grandparents sinned, don't you know, and now they are under the penalty of death. And not only that, they have to work, and Mrs. Smith suffers terribly in childbirth."

Friday, July 21, 2006

Elsewhere

Someone in the comments on the deleted Today in Porn post asked, for reasons that are not entirely clear, for this blog to address the issue of stem-cell research.

Elsewhere, the Catholic blogosphere has been abuzz about Stephen Colbert, a man who has somehow found a way to be funny and Catholic and on television, for which he has my deep, deep admiration.

So, in keeping with our theme of Yesterday's News Today, I'm linking to this index of Colbert interviews, which includes a chat with Lee Silver about stem cells and cloning. A twofer!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

BUHLETED!

So I deleted the last Today in Porn post. It contained a reference that a bunch of people didn't get, and I realized that it wasn't wasn't worth arousing anybody's curiosity as to its meaning. Ladies and gentlemen, he has a conscience!

Media

It seems that DeNiro won't be buying the Observer, but it's still anybody's guess whether or not Viacom is actually looking to acquire, eat, and thoroughly digest The Onion.

They always say nothing's gonna change when the big boys from corporate take over, but something always does. Like when Einstein bought the Baltimore Bagel Company here in SD, and they went from making proper bagels to making puffy rounds of bread.

Godsbody - trite platitudes since 2005!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Acting and Suffering

I know, I know - two religious posts in a row? Is Godsbody going all Jesus, all the time? What happened to Today in Porn? Fear not, and bear with...

"Every action we do, every suffering we undergo, whatever it be, as long as it is according to the will of God, is an act of communion with Jesus, an act that is no mere desire, but a positive advance in our union with him; it gives him new matter over which he can pronounce the saving words: 'This is my Body.'"

I liked that last clause very much.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

We often hear of someone having "the patience of a saint"...

...but it seems to me that the devil, too, has patience. And perseverance.

Monday, July 17, 2006

CCH

A Scanner Darkly

Deception and drugs
Ensnared soldiers, sundered minds
A Gen X nightmare

(Yes, I know it's based on a Philip K. Dick novel. But man, does it resonate. The ridiculous, even paranoid focus on minutiae as the larger world crumbles - because there's the powerful sense that there's nothing to be done.)

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Beauty and the Beast, Re-Redux

Well, this conversation just seems to keep going, so let's haul it back to the fore...

Thanks to everyone who commented. It is indeed valuable to note that the Beast does present Belle with intellectual fulfillment via his magnificent library. So... let me refine a bit, say exactly what it is that bugs me here.

Cinderella needs to escape the tyrannical rule of her stepmother and the cruelty of her stepsisters.

Snow White needs to escape the wrath of a jealous queen (who happens to be a witch).

Sleeping Beauty needs to escape the curse laid upon her at birth.

BREAK

Ariel needs to escape the familiar world (What's up there above the surface?)

Jasmine needs to escape the pressures of palace life (actually, she's got something of a case, since she faces a forced marriage.)

Belle needs to escape this provincial life.

The evils that Belle and Ariel are seeking to overcome aren't exactly evils. Not unless you're ready to say that ordinary life is evil, and in Belle's case, that marriage and family are evil. Yes, I know Gaston is a boor, and yes, it bugs me that the desire for wife and children and domestic bliss is put into the heart and onto the tongue of a villain. But it's not just marriage to Gaston that Belle wants to avoid, it's the whole provincial life - presumably, that would mean she wants to avoid marrying anybody in town. But provincial life is not evil. There is a bookshop. There are decent souls. Who knows whether or not the baker is secretly a poet? And even if he's not, what's wrong with being a baker? Heck, Belle's father seems to be making a go of it, even if he is an odd bird. What's wrong with provincial life? Belle sings it: "Every day/Like the one before." The same thing can happen in a castle. Routine is a part of life. Family is a part of life. Someone like Chesterton would even argue that they are good parts of life, that ordinary life, even in the midst of its routine, is fraught with romance and drama, and not to be fled.

Lest anyone think I just hate adventurous women: Mulan: cool movie. What's Mulan doing when she breaks the rules about women's roles? Fighting to keep her father from certain death. Now that's an evil worth overcoming.

"And that, ladies and gentlemen...

...is why I always give talks while standing like I've just finished a golf swing. Thank you for coming."

But seriously - it was the coolest underground church hall I've ever been inside - check out those columns!

Charles Taylor and the Church

I've noted before that while I occasionally blog about Today in Porn, critic Charles Taylor manages to write about porn and the culture and get paid for it. (Reviewing The Girl Next Door for Salon, he wrote, "The American male hypocrisy toward sexually active women in general -- and porn in particular -- is at the center of the new comedy "The Girl Next Door." Unfortunately, instead of being the movie's target, it's the subtext. For a more complete sense of his work in this field, you can see an archived listing of Salon's articles about porn here.)

So, while we don't often agree, I must admit that Taylor interests me - he gets that this stuff matters, and he's willing to write about it, and even defend it.

Now, he's gone and written a review of John Cornwell's Seminary Boy for the Observer. It's not long before he tips his hand regarding his own opinion of Mr. Cornwell's childhood faith. Cornwell's eventual decision to leave the Church is, writes Taylor, "brought on by the usual causes: an inability to reconcile intellectual curiosity and a normal sexual appetite with the strictures of the Catholic Church..."

And later: "Mr. Cornwell writes as if the gray, cheerless drudgery he encountered were an affront to the very idea of a loving Christ, and he’s not wrong. His description of his home parish (probably a good deal sharper than what he told his friend James) is a definition of religion as soul-starving ritual. His priest, driven by poverty, ekes out the instruments of the mass so sparingly that, at funerals, 'the charcoal was a morsel of white ash by the time we reached the graveside.' This note-perfect detail can stand for all: 'At Low Mass he would ease a teardrop of wine into the chalice.'

In part, this is merely the minginess of poverty, and we all know that a degree of pageantry embellishes the Mass in wealthier parishes. But Mr. Cornwell can’t quite bring himself to admit that the flinty rituals of his home parish are also an expression of the self-denying, comfort-withholding Catholic Church."

If Mr. Cornwell can't quite bring himself to admit it, how does Taylor know about it? And ought it to be inserted into the review of a book (as opposed to a review of a Church)? Taylor thinks so, because he thinks the knowledge he brings to the table points up a flaw in Seminary Boy. Cornwell returned to the Church later in life, you see, and does not include the story of that in this book, which is, after all, about a boy. But Taylor is bothered:

"This may not be the place for a narrative of Mr. Cornwell’s later life, but if that later life seems to contradict both his own experience and certain damning historical facts, then Seminary Boy is less a spiritual and intellectual journey than a U-turn—it’s the story of how John Cornwell discovered a way back into that club that didn’t want him in the first place."

Interesting.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Beauty and the Beast Redux

So I take First Daughter (and, urg, Third Son, aka, the Hellion) to the foot doctor, and what's playing in the waiting room but Beuaty and the Beast. This time, when Belle runs out into the fields surrounding her village and sings, "I want much more than this provincial life," First Daughter turns to me and says, "Did you see how she just ran way out there? I want to do that." Apparently, she wants exactly that provincial life - the freedom to roam open land. Of course, she's only five. But it was still fun to note.

Well, that could have been worse...

...but I'm a long way from the pros, who have their talks down so pat that they get tired of hearing themselves speak.

I was delighted to meet this fellow, though I was hardly in top form when I did so. I've been half a step off for about a month now. Do read his post on the Baker Library.

Still, I was grateful for the chance to speak, and Stacy, Eli and Co. at the St. Mary of the Angels Thelogy on Tap were astonshingly gracious hosts.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Chicago-Bound

Apparently, I'll be speaking here on the evening of July 11. God help us all.

Beauty and the Beast

Godsbody - yesterday's kids' movies today!

Disney's Beauty and the Best crept into our home the other night. So there's this girl, Belle, who "wants much more than this provincial life." The bad guy, a boor named Gaston, wants to make her into a wife and mother, but she mostly likes reading books and dreaming about the larger world. "Madame Gaston, can't you just see it?" she sings, her voice dripping contempt. "Madame Gaston, his little wife/No way, no sir, I guarantee it/I want much more than this provincial life."

So what's her happy ending? Marrying a provincial prince - becoming a wife. But maybe not a mother - perhaps princes had better access to medieval contraceptives than the common folk. Still, don't most princes want heirs? Also, it's hard to see how she's fulfilled her intellectual yearnings by slipping into a fancy ball gown and moving into a castle.

I know most Disney gals end up as happily married princesses. But marriage to a commoner isn't usually presented as the horrid alternative. Is Disney promoting class struggle?

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Children's Song, Complete Draft

Oh the crocodile's
Got a crooked smile
And about two million teeth
He's got a million teeth up top
And a million teeth beneath
When he starts to yawn
Gonna get me gone
Don't wanna end up inside
Gonna stop my fun
And start to run
'Cause his yawn is two miles wide

Oh, honey child
Best beware of the crocodile
Oh, honey child
Best betware of the crocodile

Oh the polar bear
Has snowy hair
And oven mitts for paws
Each oven mitt
Is neatly fit
WIth half a dozen claws
When he takes a swing
With that mitten thing
And opens up his mouth
Gonna stop my play
And sail away
And get myself down south

Honey child, you best beware
Best beware of the polar bear
Honey child, you best beware
Best beware of the polar bear

The crocodile and the polar bear
Live half a world apart
But a healthy fear
Of each, my dear,
Should live down in your heart
Polar bear or crocodile
Wherever you may roam
There's a hungry beast
Out for a feast
So keep yourself at home!

Oh, honey child
Best beware of the crocodile
Honey child, best beware
Best beware of the polar bear

Friday, July 07, 2006

Yeah, but tell us how you really feel...

Top story right now over at NYTimes.com...

For Gay Rights Movement, a Key Setback
By PATRICK HEALY
Thursday's court ruling against gay marriage in New York came as a shocking insult to gay rights groups.

Now THAT's a subhead. "Thursday's ruling for a woman's right to abortion in America came as a shocking insult to the unborn." "Thursday's ruling against segregation in schools in Mississippi came as a shocking insult to racists." The list goes on...

In 'n Out

No, not the burger joint...

When a magazine needs a cheap hit and can't get away with a Swimsuit Issue, it resorts to lists. When it needs a cheap list, it stoops to the In/Out list - totally arbitrary, utterly useless, drawing lines where no lines need be drawn. And so...

The Godsbody In/Out list....

IN: Theology
OUT: Philosophy

IN: Indulgences
OUT: Indulgence

IN: Us
OUT: Them

IN: Indiana Jones
OUT: Han Solo

IN: Charlton Heston
OUT: Gregory Peck

IN: Mortification
OUT: Contemplation

Actually, I'm more interested to see what y'all have to contribute.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Jukebox

Godsbody - your home for commentary on minor '80s hits...

It struck me, upon a recent hearing of John Mellencamp's "Small Town," that the song contained at least one spectacularly false note. Behold this verse:

No I cannot forget where it is that I come from
I cannot forget the people who love me
Yeah, I can be myself here in this small town
And people let me be just what I want to be

It strikes me that exactly the opposite is true, and that this is the reason so many people leave small towns for big towns: in the big town, they can be who they want to be - they can be true to their vision of themselves, because they are anonymous. Nobody will challenge their version of themselves, because nobody knows better. But when you cannot forget where you come from, when you cannot forget the people who love you, you have to bend your will, your very self, to the identity you have inherited, to the obligations placed by love and family. In a small town, you will always be "the son of so-and-so." And if that bumps up against "just what I want to be," tough. You want to get rid of the weight of the past, you better head to the city and start over.

Thank You, Pablo Francisco

Thanks to you, there's a new catchphrase around Casa Godsbody, invoked by me whenever my (futile) artistic endeavors begin to encroach too deeply onto the real business of home and family:

"C'mon honey, the band's gonna make it."

I mean, how can you not smile at that?

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Today in Porn, Driver's Ed Edition

The first rule about watching porn and driving a car is, Don't do one while you're doing the other.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Plight

I think my favorite part of Ed Wood was his meeting Orson Welles in the bar. The talentless hack and the frustrated genius, and both with the exact same complaints: clueless patrons, closed-minded producers, etc. And not only the same complaints: the same passionate devotion to dreams.

Which reminds me: if you happen to see a copy of Welles' Chimes at Midnight, do give it a look-see. The only copy I've found had absolutely wretched sound, and it was still fantastic.

First Son, Mad Scientist...

I won't get this one verbatim, since there was a lot going on at the time...

"Hey Dad, what if you had twins, and one was a boy and one was a girl, and you could manipulate their DNA so that they were kind of a combination? They would still be a boy and a girl, but they would have..." [Sound of father's brain melting.] "...and you could call one of them a Goy and the other one a Birl..."

"Just stop right there, son."

You just never know when it's going to be time for a little chat about gender and identity. I'm not sure why we had to start out with twins - as I say, there was a lot going on. I'm sure he had a reason.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Heard in Confession

"There is definitely a connection between your prayer life and your sin life."

Professionalism

I've worked at only one paper in my journalistic career, and for only 11 years, so maybe I'm just being naive. But today I found out that The Sister-in-Law had her copy seriously altered when she wrote a book review for a Big Catholic Publication. A middling review was transformed into an anthem of praise. So now she's joined my brother, who's had his copy mucked with by not one but TWO Catholic Publications, amid the ranks of the Misrepresented Writer.

This strikes me as awfully unprofessional.

At the Reader, no change - beyond corrections of spelling and grammar and occasionally flow, and then only on a intra-sentence level - is ever made without the writer's being consulted. Even when I wrote my first cover story and it got trimmed from 12,000 words to 8,000 - a bloodbath! - I was shown the story before publication, and allowed to fight for my copy in places.

In my one experience with secular national media - the US News story - I was a little sad that three hours of interviews got boiled down to three paragraphs. But I was glad that the writer checked with me on those three paragraphs, to make sure she got the sense right. Again, maybe that's the exception. But a writer's copy should be respected. Don't make people say what they didn't say, especially when it's their name on the byline.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Today in Porn, Hollywood Edition

It may be some sort of grand Hollywood in-joke to cast Owen "The Butterscotch Stallion" as a loser who must turn to a sock and his married buddy's porn collection for gratification in You, Me, and Dupree. But in-joke or no, I thought it worth noting here. The Masturbating Loser is practically a comedy standby, but what's new is the Masturbating But Seemingly Happily Married Husband. Remember, it's Husband's porn, the stuff he keeps in the box marked "Camping Equipment." It's not that he turns to porn because his sex life is in trouble - it's just that a guy needs his porn stash. You know how it is.

First Things Goes Pop

Father Neuhaus weighs in on Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston:

"About her skimpy outfits and racy lyrics, I don’t know. But good for Britney Spears for letting her baby be born. And good for Daniel Edwards for celebrating that. As for the pro-lifers who are letting their prudery obscure their message, they should think again."

Granted, prudery doesn't make for good art. Still, I think it worth noting this bit from the article I linked to:

"The monument also acknowledges the pop-diva’s pin-up past by showing Spears seductively posed on all fours atop a bearskin rug with back arched, pelvis thrust upward, as she clutches the bear’s ears with ‘water-retentive’ hands."

See, here's why I suspect some folks are up in arms: Britney Spears traded on her status as a virgin sexpot harder than any pop star I can remember. I'm not gonna link to the billions of photos that are out there, but let's recall just one - the shot from David Lachapelle which pictured young Britney playing even younger, her arm ringed with jelly bracelets, pushing a kid's bike and giving a doe-eyed look over her shoulder, with "Baby" written on the backside of her white short-shorts in silver rivets. The pop-diva as jailbait. Delightful. (No, I don't have a thing for Britney - I remember the image as well as I do because it horrified me, and I wrote about it.)

I'm kinda glad the sculpture acknoledges her "pin-up past," but I can see why pro-lifers might not be so excited about their new champion. Not to get all literalistic on artist Edwards, but I don't think anybody gives birth with their "back arched, pelvis thrust upward" - not even the "natural childbirth" people who might advocate delivering while on all fours. If they're mad, it's probably because the sculpture looks more like a pregnant centerfold than a birthing mother. Not to say, of course, that a pregnant centerfold can't be a birthing mother - just that she probably won't look like this when the baby's head is crowning. I suppose it could be Edwards' notion of idealizing the female form.

What say you?

I could be wrong...

...but were I writing the screenplay for Syriana, I would not choose to have a man's son, a high school senior, express his desire for a "normal life" (i.e. not life as the child of a CIA agent operating in the Middle East) by saying, "I want to go to prom," as if prom were the crowning moment of a normal guy's high school career, the definitive "normal" thing to do. Even "I want to go to Homecoming" would have been better. Better still: "I want to pull a Senior Class prank." "I want to go to graduation parties." "I want to hang out with my buddies." Something besides prom.

But as I say, I could be wrong.

Sorry for the dearth of posts. I'll try to pick it up next week.