argh

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WHY IS THIS BLOG BROKEN

The Truth

My birthday is coming soon!

Feast

June 24 is the Feast of the Nativity of John the Baptist, my patron.

Payback

I will never be able to unsee Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The damage is done. But this helps to ease the pain a little. The language is very blue, but deep bitterness over the outraging of your childhood can have that effect.

[Via Goldenfiddle.]

The Problem

This, from an article about surprise bestseller The Shack

"Mr. Young, Mr. Cummings and Mr. Jacobsen worked for 16 months through four rewrites. Mr. Jacobsen then showed the manuscript to several publishers, but it was rejected everywhere — both by Christian publishers, who found it too controversial, and secular publishers, who thought it was too Christian."

Bam.

[Via Vulture]

Today in Porn, iPhone Edition

Thanks to the California Lawyer for the heads up. A few highlights:

"...now, thanks in large part to the iPhone's video dexterity, short clips are becoming a staple of the mobile porn business. The speed promised by the iPhone 2.0 is much anticipated. Google Trends, which measures Web buzz, shows a sharp increase over the past year in the popularity of the term 'iPhone porn.'"

...

"'It's by far the porn-friendliest phone,' says Devan Cypher, representative for San Francisco–based Sin City Entertainment. As evidence of the gadget's rocketing popularity in California's porn capital, the San Fernando Valley, numerous iPhone-specific porn sites have been launched in recent months."

[Devan Cypher? Best porn industry rep name ever.]

"Indeed, the new iPhone may eventually propel mobile porn deeper into the sphere of interactivity. Blogger Jason Swifter has already imagined one such scenario. 'I wish there was an application that allowed you to undress people by dragging your fingers across the screen and literally dragging it off,' he wrote on iPhonematters.com."

[Hope that works out for you, Jason. Because now that Time has run that quote of yours, I don't foresee you dragging off any non-virtual ladies' clothes anytime soon.]

Of course, this is not news 'round here. Almost three years ago, we noticed this line in the New York Times:

"Many of those in the business of pornography are not deterred by today's technical difficulties in delivering cellphone video. Harvey Kaplan, director of mobile operations for xobile.com, a company in Charlotte, N.C., that sells two-minute hard-core video clips for download over phones, said he believed that thirst for sex-related content would drive the popularity of Internet-enabled phones. 'People aren't going to go out and buy a cellphone that streams video so they can watch a trailer of a Disney movie,' he said. 'But they will buy that phone if they have five minutes of quiet time' viewing sexually explicit video."

"Five minutes of quiet time" is my new favorite euphemism.

Now I have to have another son.

If only to name him after Blessed Zenobius Kovalyk. A Russian martyr, crucified against the wall of a convent-turned-prison.

Zenobius Kovalyk Lickona. He would rule nations.

Scenes From My Home Town

Courtesy of Uncle Chad.

Into the Wild

Ernie and I head...well, you know.

Today in Porn, Adultery Edition

Things are hopping over at Ross Douthat's blog.

Hocus Pocus

Yours truly has a profile of Catholic magician Angelo Stagnaro in the current NCRegister. (Registration required.) Hoo!

Stories...

...simultaneously distracting us from death and pointing to its inevitably (THE END) since forever!

No! Stop paying attention!

Don't notice Mad Men! Turn off that media spotlight. You'll ruin it! I want just enough people to watch to keep the show on the air. At least, for one more season. Then it can blow up.

Bender

"Now, if you drink a lot, and I do, it's hard to date the exact nascence of a bender. When is it that ordinary heavy drinking leaves off and a true bust, a tear, a bat, a jag begins? There's drinking in the morning - that's one sign, of course. Unless it's beer; there's nothing more delicious with sausages and eggs than beer And a medicinal shot or two doesn't count. And if it's getting on to eleven o'clock - and in those days I was never awake before - it's nearly lunchtime, and you can hardly say you're launched in a hoolihan with a drink or three before the midday meal. Then there's the shakes and a bleary thirst, but those signify alcoholism, which is but the sickly repetitious thirst of a real rampaging toot. No, I think, at least with me, I'm on a bender when I start carrying a drink, a real drink with ice cubes in a cocktail glass, with me wherever I go: to the grocery store, for instance, or to the bank, or into the shower, which is a better place than you might think, if you pour your Scotch strong and use plenty of ice. A little warm water never hurt a good blend like Chivas or Dewar's, but a single malt should only be had on the toilet or at the sink."

- P.J. O'Rourke, "So Drunk"

[Thanks to the Manhattan Lawyer for the book, lo these many years ago.]

Oh, God, no.

[UPDATE: Fixed the Austen reference. Thanks, Lindsay. Mea culpa.]

You know, I had to give props to the Keira Knightly Pride and Prejudice. I even liked the new(ish) Peter Pan. But this is just awful. The soundtrack should tell you everything you need to know - "I know! Let's take Waugh's novel of faith and turn it into a Patricia Highsmith web of sex and betrayal!"

I'm sad now.

What's the difference between a Catholic short story writer and a short story writer who's Catholic?

Eve Tushnet has a new story in the latest Doublethink!

"The only clean sweater was at the bottom of her suitcase, of course. Sarah stood in her jeans and bra, throwing clothes onto the bed. Outside, the rain picked up, falling hard into the swimming pool. The heightened rhythm sounded suddenly like the spatter of her father’s fingertips against the computer keyboard all through her childhood, dappling the screen with words from mid-afternoon until evening, when she fetched him for dinner. Sarah stood for a moment, listening, and felt a surge of anger and resentment: All the furniture in her old room had been replaced, but she still had the memories that tied her to her father’s house. She was partly here, a guest in the guest bedroom, and partly still thirteen years old and at home..."

Why did I love The Host?

I mean, despite the horrific dubbing and odd (in places) dialogue?

Because it was a family movie. That is, a movie about a family. And, dare I say it, the family's primacy over the individual, and oh yes, society and government. Love the final scene when he turns off the government press conference and says, "Let's eat!"

Passion Dollars

No "Christian" film is ever going to arouse such interest from the Christian community qua Christian community as The Passion of the Christ did, because no other event is even in the same category as the Passion. "We preach Christ, and Him crucified." In a way different even from other films about Christ, people were able to attend that film as a kind of act of worship. I've had more than one person tell me that they found themselves contemplating their own sins as they watched. I've heard converts testify that it was as a result of seeing that film that they gave their lives to Christ. The film was a kind of moving icon. It ain't gonna happen again.

Prince Caspian

Ernie and I go back to Narnia.

Pop

Eve Tushnet, in the course of a meme:

What has been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

Watching Morrissey end a concert by making the sign of the Cross.

Anyone else?

Small World

"In the course of an interview that took place some twenty years ago, Michael Stipe made a passing reference to an essay that had a deep impact on him. It's what came to his mind when, after having been harangued by fans and journalists alike about Murmur's lyrics...he finally threw up his hands... 'Anyone who really wants to figure out the words to our songs should probably read this essay, then go back and listen,' Stipe told the interviewer. 'It talks about how people misinterpret something that's being said, and come up with a little phrase or word that actually defines the essence of what the original was better than the original did'...The essay Stipe refers to, Walker Percy's 'Metaphor as Mistake,' was written in the mid-1950s...Percy examines the simple act of naming, a profound action we otherwise take for granted in everyday life. Some of the conclusions he comes to are surprising, and indeed shed light on Stipe's abstruse approach to lyric writing."

- J. Niimi, Murmur, from the 33 1/3 series.

My Amazing Uncle

Uncle Chad is married to Aunt Cheryl. He's a photographer, and also kind of wonderful. The first image is of Mont. St. Michel; the second is my grandfather (and Cheryl's father), Edward Lickona.

My Amazing Aunt

My dear Aunt Cheryl has a website: VictoryPix. She's kind of wonderful.

Camping on the bluffs in Carlsbad

Camping on the bluffs in Carlsbad

Ye Olde Sparke

Favorite quotes from this piece about two couples who had sex many nights in a row and then wrote books about it:

"That they thought a sex marathon would reinvigorate their marriages might say as much about the American penchant for exercise and goal-setting as it does about the state of romance."

"...the sexual marathon in 2006 was his wife’s idea, a way to banish suburban boredom after they moved to Boulder two years earlier from the East Coast. 'I thought we don’t have anything else going on,' Annie said in an interview. 'It might kick-start our marriage.'"

"Shoshana Bulow, a psychotherapist and certified sex therapist in Manhattan, pointed out that sex is a lot more complicated than frequency. 'There’s all sorts of reasons people lose interest in sex with their partner — disappointments, life cycles, financial issues,' she said. 'Just having it isn’t going to resolve those.'"

But then there was this, which was actually human and heartfelt:

"Charla Muller and Annie Brown both talk about how mandated physical intimacy created more emotional intimacy. 'It required a daily kindness and forgiveness, and not being cranky or snarky, that I don’t think either of us had experienced before,' Charla said."

Religulous

Yes, Lapso Bill, we get it. You think religion is stupid:



But "Jesus is Just All Right"? Really? "Spirit in the Sky"? For honest and true? Dude, your documentary just applied for a Senior Discount at the Golden Sunset Retirement Film Festival. You couldn't have maybe chosen something from the scads of newer songs that have tackled the God thing? Hell, NIN's "Closer" would have been fresher:

My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to God

And if you wanted to keep things Old School - you know, to appeal to your Lapso Boomer pals, the choir to whom you are so charmingly preaching - you could have at least picked something with a little gravitas:



You wanna mock somebody? Mock the Man in Black.

Story opening.

Thomas Coyne woke every morning to the sound of crying. Sometimes, it was his two-year-old daughter Maddie, the hiccuping yelps ratcheting out of her throat in staccato gasps - ah-huh, ah-huh - and signifying nothing more than a blind need for love and attention and a fresh diaper. Sometimes, it was his wife.

This Just In

This just landed in my email inbox, from, of all places, the Mid-City Christian Network. Presented without comment.

Catholic teens feel guilt's tug weaken

Study finds shame losing its traction

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

By Yonat Shimron, Staff Writer yonat.shimron@newsobserver.com or (919) 829-4891

This just in from the myth-busting department: Roman Catholic teens feel no more guilty than other U.S. teenagers.
If they cheated on an exam, lied to their parents or engaged in serious petting, it's not bearing down on their conscience, according to a study by UNC-Chapel Hill researchers. At least it's not making them feel more guilty than their non-Catholic peers.

The emotional fallout of transgressing the Catholic Church's long list of sins -- venial and mortal -- may be a thing of the past. Blame the decline of ruler-wielding nuns at Catholic schools, or assimilation into the wider society.

The study, to be published this month in the Review of Religious Research, is based on data from the National Study of Youth and Religion conducted by sociologist Christian Smith, now at the University of Notre Dame and Stephen Vaisey, at UNC-CH. The survey included 3,290 teens, of whom 819 were Catholic -- about 24 percent, roughly equivalent to the proportion of Catholics in the U.S. population.

The survey asked teens 13 to 17: "In the last year, how often, if ever, have you found yourself feeling guilty about things in your life?" and "How much, if any, of those feelings of guilt do you think were caused by religious influences?"

Teens who went to confession, now called the sacrament of reconciliation, were no more likely to feel guilty than non-Catholic teens. However, those who did reported higher levels of relief from guilt.

Smith said Catholic teenagers may not know enough about church teachings -- especially about premarital sex, birth control or abortion -- to feel guilty about disobeying. "They haven't internalized it, or they disregard it," said Smith.

Changing values probably also account for a drop in Catholic guilt, said the Rev. Joseph Vetter, Duke University Catholic chaplain. Catholics used to feel guilty for not attending Mass on the Sabbath, or for living together before marriage. For many, those behaviors are now common.

Next up? Smith said he is examining Jewish guilt.

New Best Friend, Cont.

Hodgman, former professional literary agent, at BEA book-signing:

"I still have a fondness for books...Many a time I will be antiquing, and I'll say, 'What's that old-timey curio over there? What is that, a candlestick telephone, one of those old pull-chain toilets? Oh no, it's a book. I used to help make those things! I will buy it and use it to decorate my chain of casual family-dining restaurants.'"

Rome: Tuesday in St. Peter's

I didn't bring my camera, so there's no proof, but after the Scavi tour (!), we took a turn around St. Peter's. It's not my favorite basilica, but it's really, really big. And so, for proportion's sake, are its statues. What occurred to me: every tribe makes some of its own into giants. But perhaps not always for the same reason. I recall in particular a way-up-there statue of some Foundress. She was massive, but equally massive was the twisted beggar at her feet. Presumably, the order she founded served the poor. She was a giant because she stooped. St. Andrew, above, was a giant because he was willing to die horribly. Of course, every crucifix in every church bears the same significance, but the enormous scale helped break the crust of familiarity.

Yeah, I still need to sit down and actually write this trip out.

Fr. James Martin at Some Have Hats

Father James Martin, SJ (of whom I am contractually obligated to be professionally jealous on account of his multiple go-rounds with Stephen Colbert), is currently doing a blog tour on behalf of his book My Life with the Saints. (No Amazon link, because if you order it through whatever blog he's visiting on a given day, you get a big ol' discount directly from Loyola Press. I think this is very smart marketing.) I was running around all day out of the house, so I'm not getting this up in time for you to see him in action at Karen Hall's Some Have Hats, but if you head over, you can see how the day went - he's answering questions! - and also where he'll be in the days to come.

Today in Comics, BEA edition

It's almost like I'm fixated...

Art Spiegelman: "I wanted this Faustian deal to get struck," he said. "I thought, 'This would be good if comics were in bookstores and you could find them without blushing,' but like with most publishing, it moves in waves and fads. Every publisher wants to have one, but they haven't a clue as to what a good one or a bad one might be." He's reading a lot of manga, he says, but FSG's new graphic versions of historical events — the 9/11 Report, the life of Muhammad Ali — "are not very good. They remind me of certain comics I had in a separate corner of my comic library, which were like My Friend Wheat. You're supposed to learn something. They have pictures, they have text, but they don't have that beat."

Today in Porn, BEA edition

Ron Jeremy, best-selling author, comments on The Industry:

"I've gotta say this, publishing's a very hard business to understand, even more than adult movies. Porn was famous years ago for not keeping accurate accounts of how tickets are selling. This reminds you of that. You can only tell how a book is doing by comparison to others."

Must...resist...obvious...joke...

[Heads-up: the link leads to some blue language.]

New Best Friend

John Hodgman is wonderful for many reasons. But the latest reason is, for admittedly personal reasons, perhaps the most wonderfulest of all: getting the New York Times Book Review to give him space for a monster review of comic book anthologies.

An intriguing excerpt:

"There are no gods in the three volumes of Age of Bronze (Image; prices vary), Eric Shanower’s triumphant illustrated fusion of the many legends of the Trojan War.

'I’ve gone so far as to shove the gods offstage,' he explains in an afterword to the first in his proposed seven-volume series. 'Not an original move on my part in retelling this story; it’s been in and out of fashion for centuries — but a decision which I think is relevant to this 21st-century world where so many are quick to look beyond themselves for answers or to assign blame.'

Instead, Shanower draws on intensive archaeological research and his own uncanny psychological insight to depict an ancient world that is wholly, tragically human.

Paris is not merely an abrasive, kidnapping cad; his tragedy begins when he realizes as a young cowherd that he is actually a prince of Troy who had been left for dead. It’s his desire to prove his worth as a royal that causes his horrible overreach: the capture of Helen — half seduction, half abduction — that leads to the disastrous war with the Achaeans. Meanwhile, you could make an argument that Agamemnon launches the thousand ships to retrieve Helen either for reasons of antique honor or out of a calculating desire to plunder Troy’s riches. But somehow Shanower locates both desires in his version of the Achaean high king, and he is transformed, suddenly, from competing literary interpretations into an actual person.

But it was always Achilles’ choice that made the story seem as remote as the moon. A choice between a long life that goes unsung and an early death that is remembered forever? Unless you are 19, this is a no-brainer. But Achilles, of course, chases glory. And in one of many expertly drawn battle sequences, we see Achilles’ skill and recklessness as he chases a young woman, the sister of a slain foe, almost playfully to the edge of a chasm. And then, in that queasy, silent stop-time that only comics can achieve, he watches her stumble, fall and die. It’s a stupid, pointless death — one of many in the book — and in her fragility we suddenly appreciate the desire to somehow ennoble life’s nasty, brutish shortness, even, irrationally, through war."

The Quiet Man

John Teresa and I pay a visit to the Emerald Isle.

Benedictus

"In an age like today, when the future looks dark, the question can arise of whether it is moral at all to bring someone into the world and thus perhaps to impose upon him a future in which it is no longer possible to be truly human. And indeed, if we no longer know if it makes sense to be human, then this gift of life can only be justified if I can give the new person more than mere biological life. If I can give him, along with it, a meaning that I know to be stronger than all the darkness of history. That is what baptism is, which takes him up into fellowship with Christ."

- Benedict XVI