Alphonse in the news.

The intrepid souls over at The Awl let me try to explain myself.

Lights Out?

Blogger just announced that they will no longer be supporting blogs that publish via FTP come March 26. Guess Godsbody can start making the necessary arrangements.

Today in Porn, Hatbox Edition

The Manhattan Lawyer passes along, appropriately enough, this bit about the legal efforts underway to make sure that nobody ever sees the John Edwards sex tape. (Insert caustic comment here about what exactly it says about society that such efforts should be deemed in any way necessary.) My favorite part of the story concerns the magic hatbox: "The video, which Hunter hid in a hatbox at her North Carolina residence, apparently came into Young's possession in mid-2008 after Hunter asked him to retrieve her passport, which was stored in the hatbox."

"Hunter! Get me my passport!"

"Where is it?"

"In the hatbox, silly! Under the sex tape!"

"Ah. Of course."

Moon, seen through my office window.

Why?

Because screamin' semen, that's why.

Geez.

Why, he asks. This guy.

The Party Tree is lit!

First Son hosted a gathering.

Jailbreak

"Come on, ladies! Over the wall!"

Ten minutes later, they were, indeed, over the wall. The chickens are restless.

It was comforting to know the neighbors had stopped speaking.

The Wisconsin Poet sends along a link to a bit of genius hilarity: Unhappy Hipsters.

Exchange

Me: Look at this tree I saw today. There's not a leaf on the thing.

The Wife: It's like the California version of Charlie Brown's tree! It's...it's like your career!

Me: [bitterly searches for right turn of phrase involving being stunted and sad and yet somehow, hilariously, fruitful; gives up; goes to sleep weeping softly]

From the comments section of The Awl.

liz [#3108]

Updike: 1/27/09
Salinger: 1/27/10

!!
:(

1:49 PM REPLY

True Religion

This review of Gene Yang and Derek Kirk Kim's The Eternal Smile at The Comics Journal is smart, perceptive, and well-written, and yet I couldn't disagree more with its conclusion: "this is a strong, well-executed, but modest work that feels like a warm-up for more ambitious future comics."

I think the book is kind of genius, and anything but modest, seeing as it takes careful aim at the unhealthy escape from reality that can be sought in both comics and religion, two things which are both hugely important to the writer. I'd call that pretty ambitious. The central story, Gran'pa Greenbax and the Eternal Smile is a flat-out amazing (and sort of harrowing) story of the uses and abuses of faith, and contains this wonderful, stammering speech from an abused employee:

"You know, I used to come here wh-wh-whenever I felt op-opressed by my - uh l-life. Seeing the Eternal Smile w-w-would g-give me hope - hope that maybe, j-just maybe, the underlying p-principle of the universe isn't m-m-monotony or fear or c-competition, but j-joy. I'd w-wonder if the Eternal Sm-Smile was the sm-smile of existence it-itself. And if existence itself c-could sm-sm-smile, then m-maybe s-s-someday I would too."

The review calls it a "satire of organized religion (somewhat surprising, given the devout Catholicism expressed in Yang’s previous comics)" Or, you know, not so surprising.

Oh, and I should add: that Gran'pa Greenbax story is about a whole lot more than the uses and abuses of faith. It's about man's creations (tech and wealth) obscuring his heart's true desire even as they approximate it. It's about how even our sad little conceptions of the divine may still be aiming us toward the real thing. It's about lots of things.

Today in Porn, Fox News Edition

Oopsie, Mr. Garrett. Gotta watch those links. Nice job blaming bit.ly, though. Naughty technology! Later, he called the naughty linkage "an innocent mistake." Well, sure - the mistake was innocent...

File under: nobody cares about your stupid grammar.

I just got an email from Wine Enthusiast, which sells glasses and openers and such. Apparently, they're selling a new sort of glass for Port, and they have decided to use the first line of a customer review as a pitchline:

From: newsletter@email.wineenthusiast.com
Subject: 'You haven't really drank port until you drink it from these glasses.'
Date: January 28, 2010 7:41:45 AM PST

But, I wonder: Can you say you haven't really drunk Port until you've drunk it from these glasses?

Or is it dranken?

Or maybe I'm just drunken?

Must be something I drank.

Outer space?

Or dirty roasting pan?